Update!

I really think it's about time I did a post. I know, this year I have been a complete failure when it comes to blogging, but... life has taken it's own turns, so I've just had to cope with it. I'm going to do an honest post. I want to share with everyone the struggles and triumphs after the earthquake, and how I'm dealing with everything.

Am I still 100% raw? Unfortunately no. Organic food is verrrrry expensive in Wellington. I am about 70% raw throughout the day. This is what I usually eat day to day.

Breakfast (9:00am)

2 kiwifruit

1 glass of Kombucha

Lunch (12:30pm)

1 glass of freshly squeezed juice (usually contains carrots, apples, wheatgrass/kale/silverbeet, oranges, pineapple)

Afternoon/Dinner (4:00pm)

Small bowl of homemade cooked vegan soup (usually contains leek or pumpkin, agria potatoes, onion, organic olive oil)

Or if I'm eating 100% raw for the day I'll either have

More juice from lunch, or a small bowl of miso soup.

*Throughout the day I also snack on seasonal fruit, and occasionally raw treats like cake and ice cream.

I usually have maybe 3-4 days a week where I try to be 100% raw. But the strange and funny thing is, I don't even care about percentages anymore. I measure things by how my body feels.

I resented cooked food for a long time. I hated the way it made me feel. I was convinced it would hurt me. I still support those ideas, though. I know the way processed foods make me feel, it's no secret that they don't support the body. Since moving, I tried to comfort myself with foods from my past (that were vegan, but when you binge it makes no difference), in the mistaken idea that they would make me feel better. BIG MISTAKE, I gained about 28lbs. Not cool, at all. I ate a lot of bread, rice, oats, chips, and flour that really just made my life worse. I don't blame me though, I was confused, depressed, lost, torn, and just really screwed up in general. It was also because we were staying with someone who had these foods easily accessible. I also got into some unhealthy patterns of fasting. I want to warn people (especially young people) about their intentions when it comes to fasting, and also urge people who are or want to fast to seek proper support. I didn't have good intentions while fasting, and bingeing on cooked food immediately afterwards just confused my body even more.

When we moved to our little flat in the beautiful Aro Valley, I immediately tried to go 100% raw, but after eating so much 'white food' all I could eat was muesli, nuts, seeds, and as much fat as possible. It really made no difference. I was upset about the way my body looked and felt. I wasn't used to being 'fat' again, especially after being so comfortable and happy in my old slim figure. I relapsed off being raw, and then of course I tried to go raw again, and then relapsed. This continued for awhile. I got very depressed, not just about my completely ridiculous eating habits, but also because I felt like the earthquake had ruined my entire life. I'm not going to lie, I was crying every single day, and seriously contemplated suicide. I was behind in schoolwork, and I couldn't concentrate at all, which for me was difficult, as I was a straight A student. I still got As surprisingly, but I still found myself depressed, and being away from Josh (one of my best friends) upset me all the more. I didn't want to go to a normal high school, because I felt it would distract me more, and the only person I saw for about 4 months was my mum and her boyfriend, and I hardly even left the house, because I actually stopped fitting my clothes for awhile :/

I discovered after visiting the doctor that I had low iron. It was true, if we went out I would come home and end up being able to do nothing for about 5 hours afterwards, yet, at the same time I also had insomnia, where I couldn't sleep till about 2 or 3 in the morning.

We bought a Hurom juicer. Possibly one of the best purchases ever made! We started having juice everyday, and I did start losing weight again, but I had an insatiable appetite for cooked food and craved it madly. When I was raw vegan before the earthquake I would eat hardly anything, which I couldn't help, because I wasn't really hungry often, and I didn't need much for unlimited energy.

Now for the event that changed my life. My mum (who had suddenly become the social butterfly) had made a friend while gardening in the community garden called Lyndsey. My mum told her our plight and Lyndsey, who was very interested in EFT (also known as tapping) suggested that we come round to her house and try some. My mum went, but I didn't. I was a recluse at that stage haha. She came back with a spring in her step and a twinkle in her eye, which I'm aware sounds rather strange, but she told me it was great and that we should try it together. So we did. My food issues were the principle stress in my life, and I knew exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want to be tempted by cooked food, I didn't want to binge on cooked food, I didn't want to be thinking of food constantly, I didn't want to be bloated, I wanted to be raw, I wanted to weigh the same I had before the earthquake. We tapped on these issues. At first it didn't work, and I started crying again. We tapped again a few more times, without much change, but we started to change up the issues a bit more.

Then it was like I woke up. Something changed. I don't even know what it really was. I stopped needing to eat all the time, I stopped craving foods, I stopped bingeing, I stopped stressing, I stopped telling myself how much I hated myself. As of today I have lost about 20lbs. We continued tapping on other issues in our lives, and I feel as though I've left behind so many issues that were constantly plaguing me my whole life. I had a whole new energy about me.

Something else exciting happened after that, but I think this post is already too long, so I'm just going to leave that till next time.

Peace,

Felic Pear x

Exciting Updates!

Recently, I sort of lost my love of creating raw food at home. I still loved trying other people's raw food though. Just me, personally, had lost the excitement. There will always be good and bad people in the world, and I just have to try to not let them influence me. I shall explain further.

When I first started being raw I would eat cake and ice cream at every meal. I hadn't eaten that sort of thing in a long time, due to not eating sugar for 5 years. It may have been slightly unhealthy, but at the time I was new to raw, and the food tasted so good and was so good for me! I was feeling alive, happy, well, health issues went, and loving the fact that I could eat cake and not worry, because in fact I was losing weight!

Then I logged onto the internet (as you do). Big mistake. I felt like I was being shouted at by a million different raw food 'gurus', being told that what was feeling so good to me was completely wrong, and that I was going to die a slow and painful death (or words to that effect).

Of course, there were nice people online too, telling me that whatever I was eating was good because it was raw, and that everyone was different, and what may work for others was not specifically for me. But I couldn't shake other people's negativity.

But recently something great has happened! I'm back to my old self! I don't even know what it was, but suddenly I have that feeling in my stomach, a fluttering, that just makes me feel like that good things are going to happen! I've got that love of creating food back, and I have major plans!

So with this new positive mind, I logged onto Flikr, and created an account. Here is the link. I also spent my morning looking through the millions of raw recipes that I have, and decided on a few which I would like to create.

Today is also my best friend Josh's birthday, and I have decided on a great present, which I think he might possibly like. For those who don't know, Josh has been an amazing support during my raw journey, and is surprisingly open minded to raw foods. I'm lucky to have him as a friend, as a bonus he is hilarious. Happy birthday, Josh. :)

And even more exciting news, I tracked down the website for my favorite (ever) chocolate bar, ordered some bars, and I am going to review them when they arrive. If you want to order one or two feel free to email me at felic.pear@gmail.com. More information on that later though.

I would actually just like to do a review of one of my favorite blogs at the moment, Really Raw by Raederle. Her blog has so many features, a recipe section, articles, polls, q & a, etc! I really like it because I think a lot of her opinions she voices very fairly, but still comes to a healthy conclusion which supports raw living. You should definitely check it out!

I have found so many beautiful recipes that I would love to create within the next few weeks. So what if some of them are nut-based? You only live once, you may as well enjoy it.

The Raw Vegan Cheesecake Chronicles: Take Two

The Case of the Berry Swirl

I've been wanting to make another Cheesecake for awhile now... and the other day I tried a gorgeous one at the raw vegan cafe, I decided I would try to replicate it, but of course, do it my way.

It has a vanilla crust, boysenberry layer, strawberry layer, and chocolate drizzel... <3

I got the recipe from Meredith at the raw seed. I have started to think that the Cheesecake has real potential and endless possibilities... Hmm... I may have to open a Cheesecake business now.

My menu for this week (with pictures, hopefully):
- Tacos (I really want to make tacos again...)
- Ice Cream Bars
- Cheese (for my mum, who used to love cheese, but now thinks it smells of 'cow'.)
- Bread
- Hummus (my mother is hummus-obsessed at the moment, for no particular reason).

In one week there is a Vegetarian Expo where I live! I can't wait. There are going to be two people talking about Raw Veganism. I think it's great that they're getting the idea out there, and it would be so cool if people could start incorporating and trying raw cuisine in their diets.

The only problem is, (and this sounds really stupid), I don't have anyone to go with! I have a friend, who lives really far away, I know he would want to come, but he wouldn't be able to come into town. And I have another friend who is vegetarian, but is not interested at all in vegetarianism, and I could imagine her wanting to leave the second we arrive. This dilemma needs to be resolved!

Also last week I did a 2 day water fast. It was because of the earthquake, I was feeling really dragged down and I strongly felt I needed a thorough detoxification. I kept a journal and also took my measurements and weight during that time, but I will probably dedicate another post to it.

That's all for now.

Peace and Raw Food,
Felic x

P.S. If you have a Raw Food Rehab page, add me here!